The Me Before It All Happened

When I see photos of myself before Eli's diagnosis, the first thing I notice is how happy I look. And my dark hair 😉 This version of me had no idea what was coming and I almost want to protect her.

I wish I could tell her that she's in for it. To brace herself and to hold on tight. That she will witness and experience things as a mother she didn't know you could.

I would tell her that I look back on her with pride, knowing how she will step up to the plate in a few short years - confident, ready to learn and advocate, overflowing with so much love and the insatiable desire to do whatever she can to help her child.

I wish I could tell her that the days will be long, but the years will go quicker than she thinks. That we have enough love and enough faith to survive what's coming, even on the darkest days.

This version of me didn't know what was coming, and the real-time me still doesn't.

But both of us have our eyes fixed on the One who does.