Taking Care of the Caretaker

While you are busy taking care of everyone else, do you ever stop and wonder who is supposed to take care of you?

I have spent the last 15 years taking care of my children. Some days this has been a joy, and other days… you fill in the blank ;)

On top of the regular parenthood stuff, a child’s diagnosis brings so much more into your world, and your schedule. While some things in childhood are a phase or are grown out of, some diagnoses don’t change as time goes by.

As moms, we have thoughts like “Once things get better I’ll worry about me.”

” I can’t settle until I know he’s okay.”

“Once this therapy is over then we can relax.”

You can imagine that once something “ends” another thing often begins in it’s place, and you are left still waiting to rest.

Since I’ve been on this journey myself for awhile now, I thought I would share a few things I try to do when I can feel things are getting too overwhelming, and when it feels like the “end” is nowhere in sight.  These things have helped to take my mind off of tough situations, renewed my energy, and kept me sane.  I hope they can work for you too!

Reading A Good Book

This is a good one for when you can’t escape out of the house.  Worst case scenario, you can lock yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes with a book and busy your mind with something else!

Watching An Entire Netflix Series

Last year I decided to watch the entire Friends series from start to finish.  Kind of a funny goal, but again it gave me something to look forward to once everyone was finally sleeping, and it lightened the mood and made me laugh!

Eating Good Chocolate

I hesitate slightly to add this one, because if I’m not careful I fall very easily into the emotional eating trap.  Sometimes a treat helps you feel better, but moderation is key!

PS – this one can also be combined with any of the other suggestions ;)

Running Errands By Myself

These next few will need some help in order for you to get out, but heading out on your own – even if it’s running to the grocery store to grab a few items – means a little bit of peace and quiet and some time to breathe!  I started a standing grocery date on Sunday nights once my youngest baby wasn’t waking up for me through the night anymore, and it made such a difference.

Going To The Movies Alone

When my son was first diagnosed, I would sometimes just get in the car and drive when things got to be too much.  One night I ended up at the mall in the movie theatre parking lot.  I had never been to a movie on my own before, but the idea of sitting in the dark completely focused on another story was appealing in that moment.  It worked.  And I’ve done it several times since!

Getting My Nails and Eyebrows Done

These are obviously not a necessity, and that’s part of what makes them so good!  Sometimes looking down at a fresh manicure can brighten your day – literally!  It’s also another chance to steal away an hour or so to yourself.  It’s okay to pamper your outside when your inside is feeling crappy!

Venting To Someone

Not everyone has help, and that’s so hard.  This is where the internet comes in handy.  Sometimes venting to the right person makes all the difference.  I say the right person, because not everyone understands.  If you can find your group of people who perhaps deal with the same type of special needs you do it can be so beneficial.  When my son was diagnosed we knew nothing about Tourette Syndrome, let alone know anyone who had it.  When we found our support group, we found family.  If you are looking for support from other parents who understand, I invite you to check out the Facebook group I’ve created for any parent facing the journey with a special child.  I’d love for you to join us!

Taking My Worries To God and Leaving Them There

Sometimes it takes something really bad happening in our lives in order to make us turn to this option, doesn’t it?  When things are going well it’s easy to forget to check in with God.  I’m the stubborn type that likes to do it myself.  Through this journey though, there has been one thing after another that I not only have no idea how to fix, but couldn’t even if I tried! These are the types of things I try to leave with God, because I know it’s beyond me.  Sometimes it’s the best stress relief of all.  

I’d love to hear in the comments what you do when you need to de-stress.  I’m always looking for new ideas too!