The Future Looks… Creative
In January of 2023, our family spent a week in the Dominican on vacation. While we were away, my podcast interview with Rick Barker came out, and everything was looking promising for the year ahead.
The night we flew home, I woke up two hours after going to bed throwing up. It was the start of what has been a mysterious digestive condition that we are still trying to figure out. The result has been daily pain, nausea, and stripping down my diet to only being able to eat 8 foods total for 5 months straight. I wasn’t expecting to get sick after such a relaxing and de-stressing time, let alone have it drag on in some degree of severity for the entire year. It’s meant pulling back from a lot of plans I had set out, and for many months just being in survival mode!
As I’ve been dealing with all of that, two kids started new therapies this year, and then we launched Dear Mama Mail. DMM has been in the back of my mind for a few years, and it felt amazing to finally bring the concept to life. It’s been a ton of work and a learning curve to figure out the logistics of it all, but I’m so proud that we found a way to make it all happen! We’ve had such positive feedback from mamas who are finding their card arrives at just the right time when they need it ;)
In all honesty, I’ve been glad to have had a break from the writing/releasing/promoting cycle of music. Sometimes it feels like a pressurized hamster wheel that doesn’t end and it’s been nice to get off for a bit. Now that I’ve got the Mail idea out of my brain, I’ve got space to think again, and I’m feeling drawn back to creativity.
Following this music dream of mine hasn’t looked like I thought it would. I bet most of us can say that about our lives in general?! Everyone has unexpected and sometimes painful twists and turns in the road. I’ve been a dreamer all of my life, and I’ve had many of them, and none of them have panned out the way I thought they would. In some situations I didn’t dream high enough and have been blessed beyond what I had imagined (hi Andrew) and in other situations I’ve faced disappointment and wondering what went wrong.
Thinking about releasing music again brings up the usual anxieties. I’m scared. I’m too shy. It’s been a long time. Can I find people who want to work with me? Who do I want to work with? Can I still write something that will touch someone else’s heart? And, the always present: am I too old?!
I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching lately, and I don’t think God puts expiration dates on dreams. If you are willing to do something to advance His kingdom it’s always the right time. I want my life to be a testament to what God can do when you don’t feel like you’re the right guy for the job. That seems to be my life in a nutshell in general!
I wish I had a clear path forward. I know what I would like to see happen in 2024, but I also know there is a lot of unpredictability in my life. In my role as mom and what’s required of me there, whether we need to pivot to homeschooling, my physical health, my ability to travel… so many different variables.
My plan for the new year is to start to separate our Instagram accounts a bit more, so the special needs things are based on the DMM account, and I can start focusing more on music, writing, and taking you along on that journey on my main account like I used to. I think it’s good for me to have some separation between the two.
I’m grateful to have you by my side as I navigate this next year, and I hope I’ll have a chance to offer some new music to encourage you on your journey. At the very least, I hope you’ll join me as I head towards more creativity in my life, whatever that may end up looking like.
I’m honoured to be able to share my story with you here, in hopes that it will point you to the One who has sustained me through it all.
Happy New Year!
